You’ve probably heard stories about men experiencing multiple orgasm.
Many men respond to this idea as if it was just an urban legend. Something fictional that could never really happen.
Or is it?
It’s more something that you relax into than it is something you can do, or make happen.
Ejaculation is the act of ejecting or discharging semen (come or cum) from the body.
Orgasm is intense, pleasurable muscle spasms centered in the genitals.
Most men are used to experiencing both at the same time. However, it’s possible for men to experience orgasm without ejaculation.
Since ejaculation is not required, multiple orgasm is quite possible for men of any age. Yet, it’s not something you can do, achieve or simply make happen.
Essential ingredients for male multiple orgasm
Here are 4 essential ingredients to put you on track toward experiencing this for yourself.
First, complete relaxation is more important than full erection
Because an erection feels so good, men often focus on maintaining it. Typically, this is done by tensing pelvic muscles (in the crotch area or lowest part of the abdomen). Sometimes men also clench muscles in the stomach and buttocks region. Usually this tensing occurs with little conscious awareness.
The skill that’s missing is the ability to fully relax all the muscles in your groin and pelvic region. This runs contrary to what most men have learned and habitually practiced sexually.
This level of deep relaxation is similar to what makes anal touch and prostate massage so enjoyable. While tense, you might get a mental charge from these activities. However, you can’t enjoy their potential for immense physical pleasure unless you are fully relaxed.
And this deep relaxation – even if it means a soft penis – allows you to experience more orgasmic pleasure.
Second, place attention on your body (not on thoughts, emotions, porn or fantasies)
While there’s nothing wrong with using fantasy and porn to get off, or using masturbation as an escape from stress or to fall asleep, these things won’t necessarily lead to increased pleasure or to becoming a multi-orgasmic man.
The idea of doing nothing but paying attention to your body is challenging for many men.
We have been heavily socially conditioned to focus on a partner, fantasy or porn. Anything but paying unwavering attention to our own bodies!
While partner focus, porn, fantasy and using sex as an escape can all have a place in healthy eroticism, they take your attention away from your body. This limits your capacity for level of feeling that is required to become multi-orgasmic.
The biggest danger here is of having no conscious awareness of where your attention is placed. If you’re not aware of it, you can’t shift it.
Further complicating things, at work and in other everyday settings we are also heavily influenced to keep our focus away from our body – on others, or on our thoughts.
To experience the most sexual pleasure requires letting go of the mind’s thoughts and bringing your awareness “below the neck” into your body.
The attention placed on our body also needs to be compassionate and loving. Issues with self-esteem and body image worries can get in the way of sensual body awareness and pleasure. If this is your situation one helpful place to start is with a daily practice of sensate focus: intentionally placing your attention on your body and its sensations for a few minutes a day – even when you don’t feel like doing so.
Third, consciously change your masturbation habits
For most men, to open the door to the possibility of becoming multi-orgasmic requires a change in their masturbation habits.
Total relaxation of pelvic muscles and placing full attention on the body goes against deeply entrenched past habits and powerful social conditioning.
From the day they first learn to masturbate, most boys learn to be secretive, to hurry, and to focus on getting to the ejaculation. This runs contrary to the slow, unrushed and goal-free pace that leads to multiple orgasm.
It also goes against what many have unconsciously learned about the very meaning of masculinity. Grit your teeth and muscle your way to a goal. Tense up and make things happen.
To change these unconscious patterns and beliefs requires creating new erotic habits.
Changing masturbation habits is something that even more skilled orgasmic engineers need to periodically revisit to keep things fresh and exciting.
Fourth, becoming multi-orgasmic requires lots of mindful erotic masturbation practice
How does one create new erotic habits?
The same way you change any habit or learn a new skill. It’s the same way you learned to walk, ride a bicycle and drive a car.
Lots of practice.
More importantly, lots of self-aware practice.
Just watch a baby learning to walk. His attention is all on himself as he tries, walks a step, falls and tries again. No self-criticism there. Sure, the experience of falling may be scary and lead to expression and release of an emotion (crying). But he pays close and curious attention to his experience. What works? What doesn’t? What does this walking thing feel like? And, he keeps on practicing.
Before you know it, he’s dancing, jumping, and running.
How to masturbate so it leads toward multiple orgasm
To go down the path toward multiple orgasm, change your erotic habits. Focus keenly on deep relaxation and body awareness. Engage regularly in sessions of self-aware, mindful erotic masturbation.
It takes time and commitment, but your penis will thank you.
Take time for some regular sessions where your goal and focus is body awareness and relaxation rather than getting off.
If you’d like to learn more – including learning from explicit, nude video demonstrations – then take the Masturbation Engineering video class where you can learn the 9 Golden Keys to Mindful Masturbation. (This is an affiliate link for a class produced by my colleague, leading sexologist Joseph Kramer.)
Try it Yourself. Your cock will thank you.
For most men, experiencing multiple orgasm is not something that happens quickly. It requires developing a different relationship with your body, and consistent practice.
Many men have reported it’s worthwhile and immensely pleasurable.
There’s nothing like trying it yourself. And, what could be more fun than experimenting with pleasure?