Trust and mutual respect are essential parts of the work we do together, whether in a private session, workshop or online class.
I recognize that the nature of the services I offer can make you feel quite vulnerable. I also understand the powerful potential of this work for your growth and fulfillment.
So I believe it’s important for you to know the principles and ethics that guide my integrity in this work. Unless noted otherwise, what follows applies regardless of the type of session or whether it’s a group workshop, online seminar or individual session in person or by phone.
I invite you to openly discuss any concerns or questions that may arise during our working together. I am happy to explain any aspect of your session or of the information on this page.
I appreciate the opportunity to be part of your growth and learning.
What you can expect
I believe that you are creative, resourceful and whole. You don’t need to be fixed. I don’t diagnose or treat any illnesses or conditions. I’m not a psychotherapist, doctor, massage therapist, attorney, social worker or ordained minister. The services I offer can be a helpful supplement to services like these, but is not a substitute for them. My commitment is to be your advocate and to support the services offered by other professionals.
The focus of my work is to help you experience more erotic fulfillment and emotionally satisfying relationships. I’ll bring my considerable training, experience and skills in professional coaching, body-mind therapies, deep listening, bodywork, communication, sexuality, spirituality, energy healing, focusing, tantric philosophy and shamanism to support your growth.
Your growth through our time together is the result of the combined wisdom of your body, mind and spirit and – as we interact – of mine.
For this work to make a difference in your life, you will need to integrate the learning from our time together into your everyday life. Your attitudes, choices, intentions and actions will greatly affect your results.
Coaching is a dynamic and interactive process that supports you in making internal shifts and in taking meaningful actions that help you to grow. Each client has a different situation, a unique personality and a different level of commitment to doing the work required. Due to the dynamic and evolving nature of our work together, no specific results can be promised. I may share with you some past client results and what I think is possible for you. However, nothing should be interpreted as promising specific results.
The Terms of Service are incorporated into these expectations and policies including, but not limited to, the various disclaimers and disclosures provided there.
To support you in reaching your goals, I may from time to time recommend other products, classes or services. These may be offered by me or by colleagues or third parties. I may or may not receive some income or benefit if you purchase these. (For more information, review the Advertising & Affiliate Disclosure.) You are never obligated to purchase these additional products or services. While I’ll use my best insight to make recommendations that support your growth, these are only suggestions and you need to make your own choices, and no specific results are promised.
The work I do is integrative and holistic. Thus what we do together may include elements and insights drawn from a wide range of modalities including, but not limited to, professional coaching, body-centered focusing, spiritual direction, sexology, psychology, guided meditation, hypnosis, Tai Chi, neo Tantra, yoga, breathwork, Reiki and various somatic therapies and energy healing modalities.
I follow the code of ethics of the following organizations.
- International Coach Federation, an international organization dedicated to advancing the coaching profession.
- Association of Certified Sexological Bodyworkers (ACSB), a professional association devoted to the promotion of professional somatic sex education.
Not all the work I do, and not all the modalities I use fall under the scope of these groups.
If you have questions please discuss them with me.
My commitment to you
My commitment to you is to give you my complete attention during our time together. Our session and workshop times are clearly defined and I work to ensure we are complete when our time is finished.
I offer a confidential, nonjudgmental, safe and supportive environment where you can explore your feelings, hopes and experiences and learn and grow. Your privacy and confidentiality is important to me. I’ve written more about what that means at the bottom of this page.
Your emotional and physical safety is important to me. If you have questions or concerns about this or feel uncomfortable for any reason, please let me know so I can help you. While all activities in sessions and workshops are created placing a high priority on safety, I won’t always know what might make you uncomfortable – unless you tell me.
I may make requests of you and encourage you to experiment with stepping outside of your comfort zone. You are always free to say yes, no or make a counteroffer to any requests made by me or others. Any somatic coaching, touch or bodywork that we do is only with your consent and can be stopped at any time.
You may ask for whatever you want. I will not judge you or your request. I may say yes, no or counteroffer any request you make of me.
The foundation of this work is to help you focus on your own experience during a session.
All sessions are focused on your experience. My personal needs are met elsewhere. I am not available for sex or dating with current coaching clients. If you already have a prior relationship with me and wish to participate in coaching, group sessions or programs, we can have an open-hearted conversation to explore the possibilities and discuss how this affects how we relate with each other.
I recognize that especially due to my work with sexual and gender minorities, for some clients we may both be part of some of the same small groups, close knit communities or events. Thus, it may not always be possible for us to avoid a dual relationship – having more than one type of relationship happening between us at the same time. This overlap can offer wonderful benefits and also has risks. We’ll need to collaborate to minimize these risks. In such situations, my intention is to respect and honor your privacy and the sacredness of the work you’ve done with me. If this applies to you, I’m happy to have an open-hearted conversation with you to check in and make sure we have clear agreements so you can feel safe and supported, and at times I may ask the same from you.
In order to serve my clients as best as I can and truly make a difference in their lives, I only work with those I truly believe I can help. Therefore I reserve the right to decline to work with or discontinue working with anyone privately or to refuse group or workshop registration to anyone for any reason. If this happens I will treat you with respect and, depending on the situation, I may or may not explain the reasons for my decision.
What I expect from you
The most important thing I expect from you is to be present and authentic. Feel your body and your emotions. Tell me what you are thinking and feeling. What’s on your heart? Don’t worry about editing what you’re going to say. I’m your advocate to create a safe and supportive environment for you to explore who you truly are.
You may find that powerful emotions surface during our time together. This is a common response to coaching, body-centered practices, and energy healing. I will honor your emotions and feelings by not interfering unless you ask me to. If, for example, you need to cry, I’ll stay with you and let you do so. If you would like something different from me, please ask for what you want. If you aren’t sure what you want or how to ask for it, please tell me.
Workshops and groups are set up to support you in making your own choices while also learning more about how you impact and come across to others. Your full participation is expected since these are not sessions for spectators. Although an emphasis is placed on personal choice, to create a safe experience for everyone, you may have less freedom of choice in some workshops or exercises than others. Each workshop or event has unique guidelines and expectations that will be explained as part of registration and during the event itself. At any session, if something is confusing, troubling, difficult, or feels unsafe, please ask for help so I can assist you.
To ensure that I can give all clients the same level of attention, please do not call or arrive early to sessions or workshops.
Cancellation policy If you need to reschedule or cancel a private appointment please contact me 1 business day (24 hours) in advance. Since the time is held for you, payment is expected unless you cancel in timely fashion. Any exceptions that might be made to this policy such, as for inclement weather, do not change the policy with respect to future situations.
Workshop cancellation policies are listed on the event description or registration.
Payment My current fees are listed on this website, in a workshop description or in a private communication with you, and are communicated to you in advance. These fees are subject to change.
Note: All of my clients are legal adults (at least 18 years of age). You may be asked at any time and without prior notification to provide photo ID to verify you are a legal adult and to verify your consent for certain services. Please be prepared when coming to workshops or private sessions. If you’re looking for sex education for youth, please visit www.scarleteen.com.
Email communication between sessions
While I welcome occasional short emails about your successes and celebrations, the use of email between coaching sessions is primarily for administrative issues, mainly scheduling and payment. These emails should be brief, less than 250 words.
Please keep a journal to record your insights, thoughts, feelings, and progress on your assignments between sessions. Reviewing these notes before our meetings will help you to choose priorities for discussion during our next live session.
Emails about your growth and processing your journey are welcome. Unless you and I have a specific agreement otherwise they should be kept to a minimum. If you are unable to follow this guideline, we will need to use time during a live session to discuss what’s happening, and it may then be necessary to begin charging fees for email communication between sessions.
Expectations for workshops and studio sessions
I realize that some of the following guidelines may seem basic to most people. I would not mention them if I had not been faced with these issues in the past. Please understand I don’t ask for anything from you that I don’t extend in return..
- I don’t work with people who are intoxicated or high. You may be asked to leave a workshop, group or private session if you are under the influence of substances. Please contact me to reschedule if you are under the influence of alcohol, marijuana or drugs.
- Since close contact and breathwork is often involved in workshops or studio sessions, fresh breath is helpful. Breath mints are often made available. It’s best if you don’t drink coffee or smoke just before your session. I realize for some this may be a difficult request and if that’s you, I invite you to talk with me about that.
- Please be respectful and responsible about personal hygiene. You will be the most comfortable if you shower before coming to a workshop or studio session that involves touch or bodywork. I realize this is not always practical for every commute and schedule. In some but not all locations a shower may be available by prior request.
- If you find that you have a skin condition communicable by touch such as lice, scabies, or ringworm (or other communicable illness like the flu), please contact me to reschedule your workshop or studio session.
- If you have any medical conditions or physical limitations that might limit or affect the types of activities we do together it is important you discuss that with me beforehand so that I can assist you in adapting them to meet your needs.
- Somatic coaching and experiential workshops or sessions can be powerful learning and growing experiences. Scheduling in advance is advised due to demand and limited availability.
More about confidentiality and privacy
I place a high priority on confidentiality and your privacy. I don’t disclose client information and I certainly do not discuss what took place during your sessions without your permission.
If we happen to meet at a social event, I won’t disclose the fact that you are a client. Please respect this confidentiality by not asking me about other clients.
I also expect you to respect my privacy and confidentiality. In the course of a session or workshop I may share with you personal things about my own life and learning. While you’re free to share what you experienced and learned in a session or workshop, I expect you to treat as confidential any specific personal details that you learn about me or other participants.
Part of respecting your confidentiality is to be clear and honest with you about the limits to confidentiality.
- Supervision – I may discuss specific things that come up during our time together with others doing similar work (other coaches, erotic educators, or similar professional colleagues) if I would like help from my colleagues. These discussions are always done in a confidential space and usually in broad, general terms in an effort to avoid disclosing personally identifiable client information.
- Professional development and credentialing – As part of my commitment to professional development, from time to time, I may need to report certain types of sessions, including possibly client names and a synopsis of concerns, to a certifying body for a specific modality (e.g., International Coach Federation) who also keep this information confidential as part of a certification or supervision process. Only the information needed to comply with such regulations would be released.
- Administrative help and software – From time to time I may retain administrative help for matters such as data entry, bookkeeping, tax preparation, data analysis, etc. In the course of performing such duties these professionals may work with confidential client data. In addition to confidentiality agreements with them, I make reasonable efforts to implement procedures that protect confidential information. Related to this, I may from time to time need technical support assistance with computer software and hardware. Such professionals might have access to client information while doing their troubleshooting or technical support. While reasonable precautions are taken to ensure confidentiality in these situations, I cannot guarantee it. I periodically re-evaluate the suitability and integrity of these professionals and of the computer systems used to perform these tasks.
- Contact methods – I do use various social media websites and on occasion have sent cards in the mail for birthdays or other occasions to those who have given me a postal mailing address. If it would bother you if I contacted you in these ways, please let me know.
- Threatening behavior, inappropriate displays of anger or threats of violence are all grounds for terminating any working relationship with you, including participation in coaching or workshops, without refund. If you threaten violence against yourself or others, I am not obligated to intervene or to report this. However I reserve the right to do so, in my sole discretion. If you make threats of violence against me, yourself or others, you are by so doing giving your specific and express consent for me to disclose whatever information about you I consider necessary, in my sole discretion, to protect myself or the person(s) threatened.
- Other risks – You should also be aware that email and the phone are not completely secure means of communication. If, for example, you have concerns about being at risk for domestic violence, or child custody battles, being under surveillance or other issues, this may be an area of concern for you. In such cases you should seek help from legal, trauma and privacy experts to help you with that. While your privacy is important to me, you should know that I do not make any promise to fund or participate in a court battle in the highly unlikely case a court order required me to disclose client information.